"Beej, where's my turkey burger, bitch?!"
-anonymous (actually I know who said it but I choose not to embarrass him/her)
Tonight I was sober while everyone else was drunk. Most people hate being sober while others are drunk, but for some reason, tonight I felt like a concerned mother with an abundance of patience. I patted myself on the back just now ... 3 times.
I noticed a couple things about drunk people. For one thing, they become "close talkers." You know, when they talk to you at about 1/16th of an inch away from your grill as you reluctantly inhale their wonderful breath. Respect my personal space please. Ok, tiger? Thanks.
Drunkies also seem to enjoy excessive cussing. I've never been called a "bitch" so many times in my life! Well, unless you count the time I shared a prison cell with "Big Brutus" for a week.
"Hey bitch, pull down your --- "
I'm actually trying to suppress that memory. Moving on . . .
And what's with the freakin' leaving trash everywhere? Seriously, you guys are a bunch of sloppy mofos.
A quick note on Drunk Dialing: If you seek self-respect in the morning . . . don't do it.
Oh yeah, I love it when drunk asses have to vomit. Weak! It reminds me when a cocky boxer talks alot of trash about his opponent and ends up getting knocked out in the 1st round.
I was the only one who cleaned up afterwards. I also noticed beer was spilled all over our new carpet. Sheesh.
