12.14.2007

Bah, Humbug!

It's everyone's favorite time of the year ... Christmas time! So, a couple weeks ago, this old lady at work took it upon herself to organize a "Secret Santa" exchange party. She walks behind me while I'm at my computer and asks me if I would like to join in on the festivities. By the way, she was more enthusiatic than a pre-teen girl at a Justin Timberlake concert.

First of all, don't walk up behind me unannounced. I could have been looking at some "questionable" websites. Right off the bat, that put me in a pissy mood.

For some reason, I felt the peer pressure. Various thoughts went through my head. "I don't want to. F*ck that. I don't wanna spend $20 bucks on some co-worker I hate. What if the present I get sucks? Aww crap, everyone will think I'm cheap if I don't participate. Oh, whatever. FINE!" I reluctantly accepted.

A week later I visited the Nads Depot on First Street, got some balls, and told her I wanted out. Her jaw dropped. After I kicked her chin off my Jordan's, I asked her what the big deal was.

"It's Christmas. Don't be a Scrooge. You're ruining everything!" she replied. You heard it here first. I ... have the power to ruin Christmas. MUAHH AHH AHHH!

Her comment sent me road raging without a road. I ended up giving a 45 minute dissertation on the stupidity of holiday themed, workplace parties. The standing ovation I expected never happened. But, your boy HBJ just saved $20 bucks!!!

Sometimes ya just gotta do what ya gotta do.