Elderly Etiquette

I’m all about being socially courteous, but don’t you hate it when go into a store and hold the door for the person behind you, but they never grab the door? It seems like you’re holding the door for what seems like hours.

So you let the door go, thinking they’re not coming inside. Then all of a sudden, like a rattlesnake trying to attack its’ prey, they LUNGE for the quickly closing door. But alas, their pounce is in vain because the door has inadvertently been slammed in their face!

As a result, they stare you down like you ate their last cookie or something. And this day is no ordinary day. It’s “Cookie show and tell day.”

You end up looking like this asshole with no patience because you let a door close on some poor old lady, and everybody looks at you thinking, “Geez, why didn’t he hold the door a little longer? What a jerk.”

Don’t cha hate that? True story by the way.

Hey old lady! Yeah, I’m talking to you. Next time, freakin’ RUN when I hold the door for you. And yeah, I don’t know what “Whipper Snapper” means, but I didn’t appreciate you calling me that.