You Have the Prettiest Eyes

On more than one occasion I’ve had people tell me I have pretty eyes. But I must confess, I was not born with these mysterious, optic ornaments. No, no, no -- they are merely colored contact lenses.

When people tell me I have pretty eyes, it brings up quite the moral dilemma. Do I lie? Do I keep the fantasy alive? Do I begin our relationship on a foundation of deceit?

I haven’t been this confused since the time I was at Carl’s Jr. and the cashier was this hermaphrodite looking, pre-op transsexual He/She type person. Man or woman? I couldn’t tell!

The “He/She” was like, “Here’s your change sir.”

Nervously I replied with, “Thanks Man – uhhh . . . I mean . . . Ma’am? - uhhh . . . what I meant was . . . damn, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?!?!”