The Cure For Leprosy

My roommates and I have lived in our apartment for over 8 months, and we are finally getting cable today! It’s about damn time. I’m sick and tired of people talking about all these cool shows on TV and not having a clue what they’re talking about.

Not having cable makes you feel left out. It’s like I’m an outcast or a leper - minus the disgusting, diseased skin.

It reminds of when I was in elementary school and my Mom would always pack my lunch in a plastic grocery bag (it’s a Filipino thing). Every other kid of course, used a paper bag.

Kids can be so cruel. “Haha. Why is your lunch in a plastic bag? You’re a ca-ca poo-poo head!”

So the f*ck what if my lunch is in a plastic bag? Seriously, let’s really think about it for a second. If anything, my food containment solution is the more economical and environment friendly choice. First off, we’re saving money by not buying paper bags. Secondly, we are recycling our grocery bags. Mother Earth would be proud.

And another thing. Sh*t, it’s not like the plastic bags were from Ling Lee's Oriental Food Market. They were from freakin’ Ralph’s. You know what else? My bag can hold DOUBLE the food yours can. Yeah . . . double. That means TWO sandwiches, TWO twinkies, and TWO full ziplock bags of steamed chicken feet. HA!

So to all the kids who teased me in elementary - you weren’t making fun of me, you were making fun of common sense. And guess what? YOU are the ca-ca poo-poo head!