How to Speak Filipino

Manny Pacquiao, the wildly popular Filipino boxer, fought on HBO recently and cemented his status as one of the best fighters in the world today.

The only thing he can’t fight, however, is his horrible accent. Not good when you know you are going to get interviewed by Larry Merchant after the fight.

In case you didn’t know, us Filipinos, tend to interchange the letter “F” with “P” and vice versa. It’s kind of embarrassing.

And of course Manny, while the entire world is watching, decides to use ALL THE WORDS in the English language that start with the letter “F” and P” to put the spotlight on our most glaring weakness.

Larry: “Congratulations on your win, Manny.”

Manny: “Yeah, it was a good pight - my funches were berry good. I’d like to thank the Fresident of the Pill-a-ppines por preeing the slabes . . . and”

Larry: “Manny, I think that was Lincoln who freed the slaves.”

Manny: “One last thing Larry. I’d just like to say, Feter Fifer Ficked a Feck of Fickled Feffers. I’ve been learning tongue twisters in my English class. "

Larry: “Wow.”

You know what’s cool about being Filipino?

Only Filipinos can say “f*ck” on tv and get away with it. The censors have no clue!

“Ahh, yes Larry, I really pucked him up. This mudder pucker can go puck himself!"

I just can’t wait for the day when a Filipino is asked to do commentary for a hockey game . . .